Funny Hats, Brown Ducks, and Big Fish

by Brian Verbitskey

Now as above the title may suggest, this blog contains a few crazy stories… Funny, sad and some plain stupid but they’re true and represents the kind of bank-side antics that really matter to me these days… Sharing life and the sport I love with people I love… mostly…

So funny hats are weird right? But what makes one want to wear a funny hat? Fish, or more specifically, big fish might just do that! And that’s the setting for this section of the story:

Earlier last year, my buddy, Lorenzo and I drove to NY where we met with our friends, David and Simon who in turn had also invited a friend of theirs. Of course as always, the plan was to catch a real a chunk out of the river during our two day stay.

Our sessions are supposed to be nice, relaxed and to be fun.. Well, the last part was right; the weather was horrendous, fish almost none existent and David’s stories about how well he’d baited this river for us all…hmm? I’m sure you know how it goes… Anyways, I quickly got to thinking that perhaps a move is on the cards!

So yep, we up sticks and move along to another area not too far down river that we’d heard contains some good fish and had plenty of room for the Bivvy camp. It didn’t take too long to move, setup and get ready.

In the wee hours of morning we were graced with two awesome mirrors and a pb to boot! So who adorns the MIGHTY VIKING HAT!?

Me? well apparently as Dave says, I have the face for it (not sure if he’s taking the piss but I’m definitely suspicious…)

But what are friends for then if not to give you a bit of banter every now and again!?

Speaking of friends, my friend Erik Grubb and I have had a few odd interactions with animal life here and there, and here’s another situation i just so happen to find myself in as well.

So lets talk about brown ducks… eh!? What?

Well, lets go 7 ½ hours away from my home to the Great White Nordth (yes, that’s proper spelling, at least how i hear it.) So a few springs ago I am there fishing with my good friend Erik and we did all the carpy things we’re supposed to, like baiting, using our watercraft skills and things… We are sitting there waiting for the first beeps and signs of fish movement taking in the surrounding beauties of nature, when all of a sudden, a swan tries to murder a Canadian goose so he can go attack the mother goose (not a fairy tale) sitting on her eggs. Wow!! Whilst this is going on (I swear mother nature wanted death that day) a lady mallard (don’t know proper names) is approached by another man mallard (you know they have the green heads?) but it’s not HER mallard man, so she flies into a tree and waits… and watches while man mallard one and two take to throwing handbags, arms, wings, whatever! Meanwhile, the lady mallard continues to sit in said pine tree well away from such bravado, no doubt enjoying the spectacle… She stayed there till the fight was over, it was hilarious…

Hence the saying “As odd as a brown duck sitting in a tree.”

Ok, lets have a listen to a story that involves a tree and a fish! Lets call it… oh, I don’t know… how about a tree fish? (Not $3.50 for the lockness either!)

So ‘carpy” is a thing yeah? Alright! Nothing is as carpy as a fish that somehow turns into a Fish tree! Or two men waving their rods around in the dark trying not to fall into the water!?

Wait.. give me another minute and I’ll explain.

So one of the first times that Lorenzo, my girlfriend and I ever fished together, I remember setting-up, nighttime quickly arriving and just sitting around the camp, discussing life in general while my girl and I were drinking coffee and smoking. Lorenzo lives the clean life and went to bed early in hopes of fish. Well, Lorenzo’s clean living paid off because it wasn’t long before one of his alarms screamed off and i go to help…

Well, my waders wouldn’t stay up, neither would my pants, and the fish was not cooperating at all, it tangled up all his rods and my girl is just beside herself with laughter while looking on in wonderment from the tent! I heard her mention something about how we were looking more like a circus act! lol…

Lorenzo also chipped in “You’re like a mermaid in the water bro, so graceful!” He’s full of s**t, just to set the record.

Anyways… after our comedic interlude, the fish is landed, photos taken and it’s safely released, Then it’s back to sleep…

Lorenzo did have another fish later in the night that lead to more mucking about. Just as the sun rose, my alarm finally screamed, by the time I looked out of the bivy, all was silent again.

I put my boots on and ran to the rods, the line was under the other two rods and down the bank. By the time I’d traced the line to where the “fish” was… by the power of GraySkull, it had turned into a Fish tree! I’d been done!! lol…